Ladies and Gentlemen, bitches n' hoes, step right up.
Young Reezy in the house and I wanna do my part to give back to the community. Being a thug ain't easy. I've seen all kinda things out on the streets. SO. I'm allowin' everyone to come to me with their questions and I shall impart my most thugnificent wisdom unto thou. Thee. What-the-Hell-ever.
...Yeah. 'Cept I ain't no Legal Bitch like the other dude.
[The Reezy is In.]
You can call me, 'Reezy-Almighty'.
[IC/OOC/Audience/Everyone fine. Ask a question, any question, and Riley will answer the best way he can.
..Which is probably not very likely to be the most awesome advice you'll ever get.]
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lilescobar- Riley Freeman
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...You've come to right place, my nigga.
Lay it on me!
[Pretentious bifocals go here]
...Is your main interest in the RMC, or the LBA?
...
...You gotta LOT to learn, nigga.
[Ahem]
...The RMC stands for the Rapid Mass Collection of hoes. This is generally achieved by various means such as,
(A) Strikin' a Record Deal.
(B) Winnin' the lottery.
(C) Ownin' the Playboy Mansion.
...and so on. Next, we got the LBA, or Lone Bitch Acquirement. This is usually for thugs who past they prime and they got no more energy to be runnin' around with more than 5 hoes a day. So sometimes, they wanna get a bitch that they can utilize for an extended period of time, so that they don't gotta be constantly renewing bitches. They are convenient in that you don't gotta take them out to eat everyday...but the drawback is that if you lucky you don't get the good stuff for no more than 3-4 times a week. And you probably gotta pay child-support.
. . .
How do you make the PERFECT BURGER?! Furthermore, how do I make Nick buy it for me?!
Here is my first piece a' advice. That ain't your best friend if he ain't gonna buy your sandwich. Unless the nigga's broke. And I know you ain't lookin' to be hangin' with no broke niggas.
...Sounds like a punk-ass bitch if you ask me.
...This is a situation that Young Reezy can't ignore. I can help you un-broke this dude, but there are risks involved in the acquiring of cheddar.
So you're an advice bitch?
(There will be a real question someday, I promise.)
Edited at 2008-12-02 03:43 am (UTC)
Nigga I just said I ain't nobody's bitch. I was just feelin' generous. It ain't like I GOTTA do this, you kno.
What's the best way to achieve world peace?<3
War.
I said 'war', nigga you deaf?
..That's what the president said, though. First you gotta have a war with a country, kidnap their leader, blow up some dudes, and everyone'll think you're a hero.
So if you want world peace, shoot a nigga.
Recently, my best nigger A.J. died in a firefight. Although we shot the bastard that got him and set off the biggest explosion in the history of ever to commemorate his passing, I feel that I have not done enough for A.J. If you have any ideas on how I can express to the world that this man was the greatest thug ever, I would gladly appreciate hearing it.
Dear Homie of A.J.,
First, I wud lyke to espress my candlences for the loss of ur nigga, A.J. We wuz jus talkin about blowing up niggas so this may be of revelence. U gotta ask urself, 'what did blwong up the world accomplish [brb spellcheck]' and 'why do i still feel so empty?'? If u still cant find closure, Here's wut we gotta do.
We gotta make sure that nigga pay wut he owe. even after he dead. So, what u gotta do is, take dat dead niggas money, and kidnap his mama. lol. If dat don't work, and u still feel that way, go down the streets in Queens and shoot every dude u see in the leg for a hour, and yell, 'AJ WAS THE GREATEST THUG EVER' at least 15 times. it will be garanteed to get on tv all over the world. Dont get arrested.
I hope dat helps. A..J. will be proud.
Sincurly yours,
Reezy